Valentine's Day is the day of lovers. The name goes back to Bishop Valentine, who married young couples and presented them with flowers in early Christian times. This day is celebrated worldwide as a day of love and lovers. People give each other flowers and sweets.
What does Ayurveda say about love and partnership? Why do we find people attractive or not?

What is love?

Love is one of the strongest forces that inspires us humans. It is the only energy that becomes more when you give some of it away. Love consists of mutual attraction and the dynamic of giving. When it is lived in this way, it gives happiness and freedom.
Love is often seen as a way of covering and satisfying one's own needs. Such a view has nothing to do with love and leads to unhappiness and dependency.

The attitude of giving is a prerequisite for successful love and partnership.

Law of attraction

Opposites attract each other. And this is where Ayurveda comes into play. Ayurveda is the science of the qualities of nature. Every person has certain characteristics deep down, in their constitution, which are expressed in their physique and behaviour. The three doshas Vata, Pitta and Kapha express these qualities.

Equal qualities add up, opposing qualities neutralise each other. In Ayurveda, this important natural law is referred to as "samana vishesh siddhant".

Who likes whom?

If a person has strong qualities of Vata, they are unstable and tend to be overactive. These qualities are intensified through interaction with other Vata-dominated people. Instability then becomes anxiety and overactivity becomes stress and disruption of biorhythms.

This is why people with Vata dominance are attracted to Kapha types. With the calm and earthy qualities of Kapha, unhealthy tendencies are automatically neutralised.

Different constellations

In many happy partnerships, you can see how opposing qualities unite to form a harmonious whole. The hot-tempered and dynamic Pitta type feels comfortable with a calm, grounded Kapha type. The Kapha type needs the dynamism of Pitta or the creativity of Vata in his counterpart in order not to fall into lethargy in his life, but to utilise his innate powers well.

Such opposites play an important role in every successful relationship. It is important to recognise and cultivate these opposites as important aspects of the partnership.

Dynamics through shared interests

According to Ayurveda, a person's personality is not only determined by the qualities of Vata, Pitta and Kapha, but also by the so-called spiritual "gunas" (qualities). The three mental qualities are sattva, rajas and tamas

• Sattva is characterised by purity, honesty and spirituality.
• Rajas expresses itself through strong dynamism, energy for action and lust for life.
• Those who are dominated by tamas tend towards bodily pleasures and a lifestyle centred on material possessions.

In the case of spiritual qualities, it is important that there is as much agreement as possible in the partnership so that the relationship can succeed. Shared concepts lead to a synchronisation of views on life and common goals. The greater the agreement, the greater the energy for action and success in life.

Living in synchronicity gives energy

For example, shared sattva qualities lead to synchronisation in the spiritual direction of life, while shared rajas qualities lead to great dynamism in economic success.

Loss of energy due to opposing spiritual qualities

If the spiritual gunas do not match, it is often very difficult to find common goals and ways of acting when living together. This is why Ayurveda recommends that the qualities of sattva - purity - should always be promoted in life. This leads to tolerance, recognition and a sense of togetherness.

Sattva arises through (transcendental) meditation, regular cleansing/purification and by taking rasayanas. An important quality of sattva is the ability to give. Sattva makes one independent of possessions and dominance over other people. Pure sattva shares one's happiness and well-being selflessly with all those with whom one comes into contact, but most of all within one's own family.